Director J. Creel has popped up numerous times in the media for his hard-partying ways, going on record multiple times that he wanted to write a movie script with his girlfriend Marie Pierce that celebrated his favorite party period: Mardi Gras. He and Marie met at a Fat Tuesday a few years prior (after he’d completed his sophomore film Rock n’ Roll Space Station) and they’d always been obsessed with setting a movie during Mardi Gras. When he teased that they were writing it, Creel boasted, “It’s a revolutionary film, disguised as a comedy. It’ll change the world, man.” If Fat Tuesday is the movie he was talking about, Creel’s definition of “revolutionary” is far different from the actual meaning of the word.  This movie seems intent on making audiences hate Mardi Gras and partying in general.

Overweight but cheery Tuesday Altman (supermodel-turned-actress Bianca Ross) is celebrating Fat Tuesday in New Orleans with her friends Sherry (Meg Smythe) and Becca(Allison Dee). Tuesday’s friends are both fit and trim, and she stands out quite a bit. Tuesday’s the only person in the movie who has any kind of personality at all, but I don’t think that’s because of the script. Ross is actually quite intelligent in interviews, and that comes through in her performance, even when reading some of the stupidest lines ever written.

When the girls meet up with a group of unbelievably buff pretty boys, led by Brett (Cal Huston), Tuesday is ridiculed because of her weight. These taunts are cruel and vicious and the fact that Tuesday’s friends don’t slap the guys is one of the first signs of a weak screenplay. The girls throw up a faint disapproval, but really you can tell they only want to party.

Tuesday runs off, tears streaming down her face, and finds herself in a smoky voodoo shop. Towards the back of the shop, she finds a section marked Wish Stones. As she picks up one of the crystals, she makes an incredibly dumb wish: “I wish I was thin.” In a flash of light, the overweight Tuesday has been replaced by the actual Ross, a fit swimsuit model.

As one might expect from this sort of development, Tuesday sets about making jealous the boys who made fun of her. Once she’s out of the fat suit, which is a technical achievement, Tuesday is just another pretty face lost in the crowd and there were times that she was easy to miss in the crowd shots. The movie is all about her getting her revenge on the boys and it gets old about ten minutes after it starts.

They try to throw a wrench in the works by having the effects of the wish wear off, but soon enough Tuesday realizes that all she needs to do is get another stone to receive another wish. This could’ve made for an interesting twist, but they go back to the “wishing well” far too often for it to be effective. There’s a nice moment where Tuesday decides to get actually bloody revenge on one of the guys, but even when she lets him fall and crack his head open in an alley elicited no more than an amused “Hmph.” The movie could’ve certainly used more of those types of moments.

The majority of filming occurred during several different Mardi Gras events, to achieve a realistic feel. Rumors abound that Creel was missing from set during several days of shooting, and he wasn’t located until hours later, still inebriated to the point of belligerence. This explains a lot of the structural problems with the film, as Creel edited as he was filming, wanting to carry over the party atmosphere into the editing room. The film’s a jumbled mess from top to bottom, especially regarding its treatment of people weighing more than 115 pounds.

The film doesn’t take the usual track by showing the main character that she’s better off being who she is, but instead Tuesday stays thin with the multitude of wish crystals that she’s stolen from the voodoo shop. It’s unclear what the message of the film was, if even there was one. Creel dreamed of shooting a movie set in New Orleans during Mardi Gras and he certainly did that, but the loose story he and girlfriend Marie created wasn’t clear-headed in the least.

Most people will be out celebrating Fat Tuesday and won’t have time to watch a terrible movie and for that, they’re lucky. Steer clear of this one, unless you’re a J. Creel completest.