Let me tell you something about this fella featured here. He, just like those other ruffians, is not to be trusted. He’ll be cute and playful one second, and ready to go for your throat the next. He’s a demon on four legs and if you listen to him long enough, your skin’s liable to rip itself off of you and crawl for the nearest sewer. Don’t turn your back on him.
Watch out for the character if you spot him zig-zagging through alleyways. Keep your chips close at hand because he’s liable to kill you for them. That’s where the teardrop tattoos come in. His face is usually covered in the chip crumbs of crimes past. Be careful around him. He’s got a tiny switchblade hidden in his sombrero.
This is a tricky character here. He’ll charm you with one mouth and hurl obscenities from the other. The mostly normal face is quite nice and tells the best stories. That little face seems to control the left arm and leg, so watch out for pickpocket attempts and swift kicks to the rear. It’s unclear whether both faces are working together, with the big one gaining your trust and getting you to drop your guard so the little one can spit on you. If you spot him on the street after midnight, you are legally allowed to fire your weapon upon him.
This lady here is a bit different from those we’ve featured in the past! She’s not a bruisin’ brawler or a wonk-eyed wench. No, this gal uses her supercomputer brain and nuclear-powered Thought Fish to rob banks and eat children. She usually works alone but has been known to serve in the employ of a pair of damaged deviant. The power contained in her brain bowl is enough to level 50 city blocks if it were harnessed by the right individual. Let’s pray that individual never steps forward.
We’ve featured countless villainous louts in the last few days, so we thought it was time for a change. This man is a hero, someone to look up to. He’s ever-vigilant, ready to spot the first sign of crime. And when he does, watch out! He’ll swoop down on you, fire blazing in his eyes, and ruin your chances of a hasty getaway.